Focus
by balthezarian
Summary: It's amazing what one can accomplish when they focus. It can be horrifying when you lose it. Especially in battle...


Author's Note: Yes, I know, I have a thousand other things that I really should be working on right now, but this one-shot has been screaming at me to be written, and it is very hard to concentrate on anything with all that screaming going on!

Anyway, this is told from Goku's POV. It takes place about four and a half years after Buu, and kind of changes the end of the series. Well, not _kind of, _really. But this is fanfiction, so I'm allowed to do that! Consider yourselves warned!

**Focus**

It had started out just like any other day. Well, almost like any other day. Chi-Chi and Bulma had gotten it in their heads that we should have a party today, and while I really, really like parties, I don't like them when Chi-Chi is hosting them. She gets really stressed out, and she stays that way until about an hour after everyone gets there. I don't know where she got this obsession with proving herself to be the perfect woman, but I do know that it will be there forever.

Normally, I'm the first one awake at my house. I like to wake up when the sun rises, if not a little earlier. There's just something magical about that time of day, right before the sun comes up over the horizon. Everything is still quiet. The nocturnal animals are going to bed, and the other ones aren't up yet. The air is always cool and crisp and so full of life. The dew on the summer grass always has this sparkle to it that I could just stare at all day. That's the time of day that I love the most, and that's why I always get up when I do.

For that little while, the world is mine.

But now…

That morning, Chi-Chi woke up at four thirty. Can you believe that? Four thirty! Even _I_ don't like getting up that early, and I'm a morning person! But Chi-Chi, she wanted to get a 'head start' on the day. Apparently, when the house has to be cleaned for the fifth time in twenty four hours, the idea of sleeping until sun up is a sign of laziness. I tried to argue that the house wasn't going to get any cleaner than it already was, and we were probably going to make a mess when we tried to get the food ready, so why bother scrubbing down now?

That's when she grabbed the sheet underneath me and effortlessly flipped me clean out of the bed.

Have I mentioned how ridiculously strong that woman is?

I guess I yelped louder than I thought I did, because I could hear Gohan telling Goten "That's the sign that it's time to get up". Of course, having just been flipped out of bed, I was wide awake, and really, I didn't want to stress Chi-Chi out any more than she already was, so I just went along with her plan. After all, she can be scary when she's in that mood, and I had a feeling that I had used up my one quiet warning of the day.

Warning…if only there had been a warning…

The boys are always really good on these days. Gohan has been helping out long enough to know exactly what needs to be done and to do it without being asked, and Goten's been doing it just long enough to know that if he needs a job, he should ask Gohan, and that his biggest job is to stay out from underfoot. He's a good kid, he really is, but that boy is so curious about everything that he cannot keep his hands to himself. But when his mother is stressed out, he's very good about making sure that he's either helping out or staying as far out of the way as possible. He's almost twelve, but he's the same kid he's the same kid he's always been.

For me, it was nice just to have the whole family together. I had only been back on Earth for a few months before Gohan started at the University and moved out. He finished his last classes a week ago, and his graduation is in two weeks. That's why we were having the party. Well, that, and the fact that he and Videl just got engaged. That's why we were having a huge party. We had to get stuff ready for lunch, a mid-day snack, a full dinner with announcements (the rest of the gang didn't know about the engagement yet), and some special desert Chi-Chi wouldn't tell me about.

Anyway, Gohan moved out four years ago, and I'd missed him so much. These rare moments when all four of us were under the same roof were nice.

All four…

I have to admit, as annoying as it was to pull everything together, the picnic area Chi-Chi designed and set up was wonderful. She had even spaced out the place setting accordingly, putting larger gaps between the plates for the rest of the gang and the plates for us Saiyans. After twenty four years with us, she knows the perfect amount of space that we need when we eat. And let's face it, we need a lot of space.

The party was supposed to start at noon, but Bulma and her family were coming an hour early. Trunks and Goten had a hard time staying apart from each other when they know they have a play day waiting for them, and I guess Chi-Chi and Bulma thought it would just be cruel to make them wait all the way until lunch to see each other.

I saw Bulma's air car when it was still a couple miles away. I also saw the side door fly open and a light purple blur flying out of it. Bulma apparently made a family rule about riding in the car that said that the only time Trunks was allowed to jump out of the moving car was when they were on their way here and Trunks could see our house. That purple blur became a very familiar sight at the house. Sometimes he flies so fast that I wonder if he'll stop in time to not plow through the house.

Stopped in time…

Trunks came to an abrupt halt in front of me, gave me a quick wave, smile, and a "Hello!", and took off for the back of the house. That was another rule that Bulma strongly enforced. Trunks had to greet his host, _while standing still, _before he could go have fun. And when Goten was involved, those greetings were notoriously short.

He always knows where Goten is. I mean, we can all sense energy, and if we focus we can locate each other, but those two _always_ know where each other are. I mean it, they really do. If they were on opposite ends of the world, and you asked one of them what the other was doing, they could tell you where the other one was, what they were doing, and what kind of mood they were in. It's uncanny, and sometimes a little scary. Sometimes it's like the fusion never actually dissolved and that they're still functioning as one.

Chi-Chi came out of the house at the exact moment that Bulma parked her car. Both women had clearly put an effort into their appearances for this picnic, though why, I'll never understand. I mean, it's the old gang, and all we do is eat, swap stories, and spar. Why bother getting all dressed up for that? But I guess Bulma gets a little dressed up for everything that doesn't involve building and programming, and Chi-Chi has told me more than once that she wishes she had more occasions to dress up.

I guess I wouldn't have even really thought about what they were wearing if it weren't for the fact that Chi-Chi wouldn't let me wear my gi. I know, it could have been worse. At least she hadn't made me wear a suit. I hate those things. Still, I was not a fan of black pants and a collared shirt. I just didn't like wearing stuff that I knew I wasn't allowed to rip but would have to be if I got into a fight.

The fight…

The girls practically squealed when they saw each other. It's funny, they couldn't stand each other when they were younger, but apparently after Goten was born they got really close. I guess that probably had something to do with Trunks being about the same age. One friendship helps build another, you know?

They started talking so fast that even I couldn't tell what they were saying. Krillen once told me that women have the unique ability to communicate clearly to each other even if they were talking at light speed and at the same time. It wasn't until I came back from the dead for the…how many times was that? Two, three? I dunno, the one after Cell. _That's_ the death I was talking about. Anyway, it was after I came back from that death that I finally understood what he had meant. It can be _crazy_ to watch Bulma and Chi-Chi talk to each other.

Vegeta was, needless to say, a lot more reserved when he came out of the car. He always hated riding in them. If you ever asked him about it, he would go off on a tangent about how no self respecting warrior would use such a contraption for transport unless they were strictly doing recon work, whatever that is. But still, when they come over as a family, he always stays by Bulma's side in the car.

Like me, he was not dressed for battle. Unlike me, he didn't seem to care that much. He still always assumed that an enemy could be lurking just around the corner, but he had apparently gotten used to a new daily uniform of khakis and a button up shirt. Well, that was his uniform when he wasn't training or sparring or something. And to be fair, Bulma's mom custom made his clothes out of material that was sort of like what his training suits were made of. They had extra endurance and extra give to them, so if push came to shove, he could fight without too much worry.

Fight without worry…

The boys played around for a while, and bit by bit the rest of the gang came. Well, almost all of the gang came. Tien and Choutzu didn't come to a lot of these gatherings, so it really wasn't a surprise when they didn't want to come. And Lunch hadn't been seen by is in Kami only knows how long. But everyone else came, even Eighteen. I know she's not a bad guy anymore, and I know she hasn't been one for a long time, but she never really seems to have fun at parties so I'm always a little surprised when she keeps coming. Not that I don't want her there!

Bulma, Chi-Chi, Eighteen and Videl were all inside doing whatever it is they do in there. Hey, I really don't know. They declared the inside of my house a man-free zone, and none of us were dumb enough to challenge that. I laughed with Yamcha, Roshi, Oolong, Puar, and Krillen in the front yard, and Goten and Trunks were sitting in a tree laughing about something. Separated from the rest of us were Piccolo, Vegeta, and Gohan, who were having a significantly more quiet conversation than I think I could have managed.

After about half an hour, Bulma stuck her head out the front door and shouted, "FOOD!" before disappearing inside again. Only a few seconds later, we were all assembled at the large picnic table I had made for just such an occasion. Well, Piccolo sat under a tree, but he had his water bottle and was perfectly happy there.

Chich had really gone all out on the food. She had even times it perfectly so that warm food would be coming out of the oven at the exact moment that the last guest got there. I have no idea how she does that, but she does. Like I said, she likes to be _perfect_. She seems to think that if her timing is a half second off, everything will be destroyed.

All in the timing…

The food was fantastic, as always. Sometimes I think that Chi-Chi's wasting her cooking skills when she cooks for us. I mean, we really do appreciate it. We really do! But sometimes, I think she missed her calling. She could be a master chef in some fancy restaurant somewhere. Kami knows she's skilled enough to. But it takes so much time just to feed us that I guess she really can't. I feel bad about that sometimes.

I feel really bad…

The second the food was finished, Trunks and Goten jumped to their feet and announced that they were going off to spar in the woods. Bulma and Chi-Chi didn't turn to look at them, just giving each of them a quick shout to stay close and be careful. After all those two have seen as mothers, something like a little fight in the woods wasn't worth getting fussy about. Gohan quietly asked Piccolo if he wanted to spar, and of course Piccolo agreed. And I asked Vegeta if he would care to join me in a quick spar, and he graciously accepted the offer.

Or we looked at each other, smirked, and took off without a word. Whatever.

It had been along time since Vegeta and I had sparred. I mean, _really_ sparred. There had been a few moments in the last few years where we had been able to get little bouts in, but neither of us had gone all out in them. Really, we had just been feeling each other out, trying to see what new thing the other had learned and how close that gap between us was.

It got smaller every time…

We had a whole series of unspoken rules when it came to sparring. You got a point if you landed the first blow, another for first blood. Ki blasts weren't allowed during the first five minutes, and each violation of that rule cost you a point. A knock out was an automatic victory, but the winner had to explain to his opponent's very angry wife just what had happened. Each time you ascended to a new level first, you lost a point. Each minute the other one could go without ascending would earn him another point. You know, so if I cornered Vegeta and the only way for him to get out was to go Super Saiyan, he'd lose a point. And if it took him two minutes to force me to do the same, I would get two points.

Usually we were confined to the Gravity Room just to try to keep the damage we do to the planet to a minimum. After so many battles with super powerful enemies, we really began to see that we caused a lot of damage to the planet.

Most of our spars had time limits on them, usually ones set by our wives. No, they wouldn't tell us, "You can play for an hour but then you have work." Usually it was, "I'm serving dinner at 5 and if you're not there, I'm giving your food to your son."

That day gave us a rare occasion. We were outside. We had space. We could go until sundown when the next meal was. And a month earlier, we used the dragon balls to wish that any damage caused by our battles, past, present, and future, would be fixed as soon as the fight was over, so we didn't have to hold back at all.

No holding back…

We went deep into the woods to make sure that we wouldn't be interrupted by Piccolo or the boys. Both of us chose to fight in our undershirts to maximize mobility and minimize the amount of screaming from our wives at the end of the day. Mine was black, his was white. We walked a few steps away from each other, gave a smirk, and flew straight in to it.

That fight was strange from the start. Something just seemed wrong to me. Point one went to him. He almost always landed the first hit, and I'll never figure out how. He's not any faster than I am, and his limbs are shorter, but he always manages to get in first. It took several minutes, but he got the second point, too. I'm not sure how he managed to clip my nose like that, but I definitely bled first.

That was unusual. Usually whoever scored the first hit ended up bleeding first because they would get cocky. Remember, Vegeta usually got the first point. But that day, he got me fair and square.

It wasn't right…

He was at the top of his game. Normally there was a lot of arrogance in his fighting, and that was always his greatest weakness. If he was convinced he would win, it was almost too easy to exploit his ego and bring him down. But that day, there was no arrogance, no cockiness, none of it. He was quiet, reserved, and focused.

I wasn't used to that. In fact, I don't think I have ever fought anyone as focused as Vegeta was at that moment. Normally, my opponent and I talk as we fight. I know that sounds strange, like we're having a conversation or something as we pound the snot out of each other, but there's always been at least a little verbal play. But he was completely silent. I could barely even hear him breathing.

I said a few things to try to get it started, but he didn't buy it. Nothing could shake his focus. I even made fun of his height, and I didn't even get an eyebrow twitch out of it. He was completely and totally focused.

Before I knew what was going on, I was in the negative range. Everything was so precise and so accurate that I found myself running out of endurance in my normal form and my instincts forced me to power up. Gulping, I tried to get my own mind back on track. I didn't know what had him so focused, but I couldn't let him win.

Couldn't let him win…

He got two more points before joining me in golden glory. I could feel my heart rate pick up when I realized that the score was 4 to -1, and that I was anything but winning. In all the years that I had known Vegeta, only one other time had I struggled so hard when fighting him. That first fight, when we were actually trying to kill each other, was the only other experience in my life I could remotely compare to that spar, and even that was pushing it.

Back then, Vegeta was stronger but I was more focused. I had friends that could come and help me, and he was alone in the universe. I had the fate of the world resting on my shoulders, and he had his freedom from slavery at stake. We both had so much on the line, but his emotions hurt him as much as mine had helped me. Both of us had barely survived.

But that day, I was stronger and Vegeta was more focused. We both had families waiting for us but knew we were fighting on our own. And nothing was on the line. We had both won spars before, we had both lost them. But it had always been close.

And I had always held back…

I got so caught up in my thoughts that Vegeta got countless shots in. This method of fighting from him was so strange for me, I just couldn't focus. He wasn't trying to slam me into mountains or use my body to make craters. He wasn't throwing ki blasts around in needless displays of power or taunting me about being born as a third class warrior.

He was taking it one step at a time. He was doing everything in a calm, cool, collected manner. Vegeta was wearing me down one little bit at a time without wasting any of his own energy. His endurance was doubled for it, and I couldn't keep up. I had been on the defensive for too long. I needed to get the upper hand. Even if I had to go for the knock out, I couldn't lose a spar. Not by that much.

As I brought myself up to the second level, I glared at Vegeta. For all the effort I was going through just to maintain the fight, I wasn't even given a smirk of approval. No snide comments about how I must have been losing my touch, no taunts about how I'm clearly getting desperate, nothing. He wouldn't give me any acknowledgement, and I couldn't stand that.

I couldn't stand it…

I aimed for his midsection with an uppercut, but he somehow got out of the way. I tried again and again, but I couldn't get through. I got angry. Really angry. I had always enjoyed a challenge before, especially in battle. It always gave me a thrill to know I was being pushed to my limits, and I was doing the same to my opponent.

But there was no enjoyment in that fight for me anymore. I had never felt so outclassed in my life, and he hadn't even matched my power level yet! I tried so hard to focus on the fight, on making sure that my strikes were straight and my footwork wasn't sloppy, but I couldn't. All I could think of was how I couldn't lose, no matter what the cost. I could not go back to that party and listen to him gloat about how he didn't just win the spar, but how I hadn't even been a worthy opponent. How I couldn't keep up. How I wasn't good enough. And with the score at 5 to -2, that's definitely what he would say.

It had never bothered me before when I was beaten. I lost a good number of fights when I was younger, and none of them had really bothered me. If anything, they made me feel like that was more for me to learn.

But I could not get my mind to accept the idea of losing that fight. Not _really_ losing it. I hadn't ever _lost_ in my life. Been defeated, sure. Had someone else edge me out, of course. But never had anyone been doing so much better than I was that I couldn't even get my bearings. And I hated it.

I hated him…

Something inside me snapped. His refusal to even respond to me somehow pushed me over the edge. Everything went white to me. My brain just seemed to stop. I could feel the roar coming up out of my chest. And I heard a crunch, a sputter, and a cough.

Slowly, my vision came back to me. The world around me regained color, and I wish it hadn't. There was red everywhere. It took me a few seconds to realize what it was. It was blood. Vegeta's blood.

I blinked, praying that when I opened my eyes again, I would realize that I had seen it wrong. There was no way that what I had seen was real. That couldn't have happened. I must have seen it wrong.

I couldn't have gone to level three in that one instant. I couldn't have broken through his defenses in that one moment. I couldn't have sunk my hand deep into the middle of his chest.

I couldn't have been feeling his struggling heart pulsing in my hand…

Everything was still so hazy. It all seemed so unreal that I didn't react to it. I was vaguely aware of Vegeta grasping on to my forearm, trying to support himself as he tried to figure out what had gone so wrong. I could hear the seemingly distant shouts coming from Piccolo and Gohan as they approached us. I could almost make out what the younger boys were calling out as they headed our way.

And then Gohan's hand touched my shoulder, and reality came slamming back to me.

Vegeta was shaking violently as he vomited blood all over our arms and bodies. Gohan and Piccolo began shouting ideas how to fix the situation. Neither of them had a senzu bean with them, and they asked if I had one at home.

I began to cry. I hadn't meant to hurt him like that! I hadn't! All I wanted to do was throw him off enough to knock him out! It had been an accident, I swear! I sobbed so hard that the world blurred around me and I felt my knees starting to give out. Piccolo forced me to stay on my feet and Gohan supported Vegeta, still shouting as he asked if anyone had a senzu bean with them. The next think I heard was a blood curdling scream calling out, "_PAPA!"_

The boys had found us…

I my tears stopped, and I just stared blankly at the chaos that erupted around me. Vegeta was vomiting more blood, and his white undershirt was completely red as he struggled so hard to stay alive. Trunks sobbed as he tried to help his father, not knowing what to do. Goten knelt in the grass and started throwing up. Gohan was screaming for a senzu bean as he tried to hold Trunks at bay and support Vegeta at the same time. Piccolo told me to teleport to Dende, keeping his voice calm and level, but I couldn't do it. The guys found us and stared in horror as I, still in all my level three glory, stood there with tear streaks on my cheeks and my hand on Vegeta's slowing heart. Krillen shouted for us to lay Vegeta down, but I couldn't move my body and Gohan yelled that if I took my hand out at that point, Vegeta would die.

Vegeta was staring at me…

Shrieks came from my left, and without turning my head, I knew the women were there. Chi-Chi passed out, Videl was screaming, Eighteen started trying to get the children away, and Bulma…

Bulma wrapped her hands around Vegeta's face, trying to stay calm as she kept whispering, "It'll be alright, you'll be okay," over and over again to him. She was crying, I could hear her, but she kept telling him that it was going to be alright. I wanted to believe her, I wanted to join her and say that everything would be just fine. But I couldn't. Not as I felt his heart slow down and struggle more.

Piccolo told me again that I had to teleport to the Lookout. I wanted to scream at him, "I KNOW THAT!" but I couldn't. I couldn't get my mind focused enough to even talk, let alone move. All I could do was look straight ahead.

He looked so surprised…

I could hear Bulma telling him to hang on, to just keep fighting for a little longer. "Just a little more," she said, trying not to cry. "Just a little longer and you'll be fine. We'll go back to the picnic, we'll have dinner, and we'll tell them about the baby. Just you wait, honey. It's going to be okay."

The baby…

I heard those words, and I twitched. Not hard, not a lot, but enough to jolt Vegeta. His eyes got wider, and he choked again. I just stared ahead, looking in his terrified eyes as he clawed at my wrist, trying to get me to let go. His body wasn't shaking as much anymore. I almost smiled, because I thought something good had happened.

That was when I realized that his heart, still in my hand, had stopped.

But he didn't die. Not immediately. I could see it in his eyes as he faded away. It wasn't fast. It wasn't painless. And it was all I could focus on.

I finally had my focus back.

I got it as he died.

At that moment, my focus was perfect.

/\/\/\

Author's Note: Okay, it's shameless plug time.

I know this is an odd request, but please, if you have a minute, check out my profile. Some of my California friends are doing a walk for the cure for multiple sclerosis, and I put a link to their website on my profile page. I wish I could walk with them, but since I'm not in the same state and don't have, you know, time and money, I decided to help out another way.

Thanks, guys!


End file.
